Concrete counters at Sweet Apple Ranch
The opposite of abstract.
Stable.
Secure.
The perfect mixture of rocks, water and a binder to hold it all together.
Sort of like love.
Stable.
Secure.
No really. Hear me out.
It seems to me that love is directional. Two directional to be exact. We give love. And we receive love. In a perfect world, both directions ebb and flow in a synchronous cycle. But in reality, love tends to be the furthest thing from balanced.
We don’t feel like we are getting it.
We don’t feel like giving it.
Unstable and insecure.
I have no delusions to believe that I can somehow affect and change the cycle of love. I may be a mom and able to read minds and intents as well as use eyes in the back of my head, but I cannot solve the love issue in the world. We all have limits.
But I wonder.
I wonder if we spend far to much time on one side of the cycle than the other. We live in a consumer age. A newsflash I’m sure. We can get hamburgers our way. We can negotiate the price we want for airline tickets. We are used to concessions. If it doesn’t work out the way it should, compensation should be made.
Several years ago, I was trapped in an elevator in a fairly prestigious mall in California. I was pregnant. Unmistakably so. I had a toddler with me. And we sat in that elevator for 45 minutes. The Pee-pee dance was born. And when the fire department freed us, the mall manager asked if my son would like a balloon. Really? A balloon? For him? How about a gift certificate for me? I said no thank you, as graciously as I could, and made a bee-line for the restroom.
And what does that have to do with Valentine’s Day? I’m so glad you asked.
Everything.
If I’m looking for someone or something to make my life better, I will always be disappointed. I could have really used a shopping spree. Did I mention I was pregnant and outgrowing everything?
But what would a gift certificate really do? Make me feel like I accomplished something while waiting in the elevator and holding my highly squished bladder. And on Valentine’s Day, I want a prize to make me feel like I’m not alone or without love. I don’t want to be a loser.
But maybe that’s backward. Maybe, on Valentine’s Day, instead of looking for what’s coming, or for the payoff, I should be taking inventory of how well I love others.
Stable?
Secure?
The above picture is of our new concrete counters that we poured a week ago. They will not be going anywhere anytime soon. Do I love people that way? Do I love like concrete?
Sometimes, not so much. But what a great day to be reminded of my goal.
I want to love people like concrete. Stable and secure.
14/02/2013 at 12:54 pm Permalink
I am good at loving in the abstract. This was a perfect day to be reminded of another way.