Tag Archives: perfection

Badges? Badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!

On Life, , , ,

I am so jealous of the Girl Scouts. And not for the reasons you might think. Sure they have the “Thin Mints” and the “Samoas” and the “Lemonades.” All pure genius. But those aren’t covet inducing.

I see the Girl Scouts and the thing I want most is the vest. Think about it. Haven’t you done some stuff that is badge worthy? Reached a mileage goal in running, or a weight goal or an anniversary?

My vest would be a color other than kelly green (this is my daydream so I get to pick) and I would wear my badges proudly. It sounds ridiculous but we do it everyday. At the end of the day, my to-do list is examined. How many badges did I earn today? Laundry, grocery shopping, bills, chauffeuring, and on and on. The number of badges earned is compared to the number of badges missed and an opinion is formed. Good day? Not so good day? Horrible day?

On those days where the accomplishment column is on the empty side, my self-worth swirls around the porcelain bowl that still needs cleaning. And always on those days, I seem to come face to face with the vests of those around me. Their vests are laden with badges! How in the world can I keep up? They have badges I’ve never even thought of!

But the rebel in me, that part that wants to rage against the machine longs to be free. I wish to walk into my yard and burn the vest. And then shout from the hill behind my house…

“Badges? Badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!!”

Imagine a day where the only goal is to live. Live every moment until you fall into bed without thought of to-do lists and badges. (Cue orchestra.) To fall asleep simply remembering the moments that made you laugh or cry. (Music builds to crescendo.)

Who’s with me? (Applause and screaming.)

Say it with me…

We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!

 

 

No more white-wash

On Life,

This blogging thing is quite amazing. Theoretically, I control the topics. And yet, I sit to write and I am overwhelmed with the urge to bare my soul. Perhaps it’s the lack of consistent adult interaction throughout the day. I also must take into account the fact that I am a woman and have a quota of words each day. But maybe it means that I am finally learning that it’s alright to be me. And part of being me means not having perfect children, not always having the perfect thing to say and not being perfect. Sometimes I wear white after Labor Day. (That is not an exhaustive list of my imperfections.)

I have spent a great deal of my life striving for perfection. The careful application of white wash is a difficult habit to break. Somewhere I got the message that striving to be like Jesus meant striving to be perfect. But along the path to perfection, I trampled over the lessons of learning to love others more than myself, learning not to worry about tomorrow, and remembering that God’s ways are not my ways.

What I thought was perfection was really a heap of ugliness with a shiny outward coating of white wash. The real issues, the heart issues, had been ignored for the appearance of holiness. When you give God permission, He goes after the white-wash. Sometimes He gently scrapes small pieces at a time but other times it feels like He douses it all with a highly flammable substance and transforms it into one giant ball of fire. I have frequently disagreed with His methods. Don’t worry. I’ve been very honest with Him about that. But then He reminds me that His methods are not my business. I gave Him permission. And it is without question that His motives and His means reach exceedingly beyond my understanding.

God is not a vandal. He is not sadistic in His enjoyment of watching the white-wash go up in a mass of flames. His goal is not to destroy me. He understands, far better than I, how detrimental the white wash is. It keeps me so focused on me that I am unable to truly love others. His goal is for me to learn to love others the way He loves them. The way He loves me.

“My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other. No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love!” I John 4:11-12